Nurse Betty BScN (cand)

EXAMS!!!!!

2006-12-03T21:36:00.000-05:00

Exams are upon us! First is research then patho, then psych, then theory. Luckily I didn't take an elective this semester so I don't have one of those stupid distractor exams to worry about. I am worried about the research and patho of course, psych and theory are hit or miss, doesn't matter how prepared I am for those exams if I can't read english that day then I am sunk.

I had my last day at the hospital on Friday. Miss B is very sick, one of the nurses said her doctor said she will probably only be around another couple of weeks. Very sad, she has 3 kids and is only 2 years older than me. I am sad that I won't be in the hospital again until January. I still don't know where I am being placed. That frustrates me to no end. Why can't they be a little more timely with that info?

Anchors have started the countdown to School holidays! I have to admit, so have I. I am really looking forward to a nice relaxing holiday. Well, no holiday until I get these exams out of the way so back to the books.

BAAAAAD Betty

2006-11-23T19:36:00.000-05:00

I am sooooo sorry that I have not been keeping up with my blog! I have been sooo busy and have so much to tell. School has been a whirlwind. I refer to this time as the assignment to exam snowball. I had midterm exams followed by assignment hell and now I am heading into exams again. I didn't do too well on my psych and research exams (a B- and a C :o( ), maybe if I had studied! BUT!!! I aced my patho exam with a solid A! Things have just spiraled out of control it seems but I am on top of things now and have a very brief moment to breath before exams start up again on Dec.6.
My clinical placement has been amazing! Very challenging but I am absolutely loving it! After having a revolving door of different patients each week (unlike my classmates who were having the same patients each week so they could really get into a routine) I finally have the same two ladies. One is a sad lady, 75 years old, failure to cope. I spend a lot of my time with her coaxing her to eat and coaxing her to drink and some days just coaxing her to open her eyes and sit up. The other lady is only 2 years older than myself at 39, Miss B has cervical cancer which has spread but they haven't determined just where yet. She is also schizophrenic. Apparently she had been diagnosed 2 years ago but didn't do anything about it until 6 months ago when she collapsed in a mall. Both are very sad and very emotional stories. Neither of them have any seriously difficult medical things that I have to perform but the emotional dealings with them are intense. I have requested to stay with them until I am finished on that floor - next week is my last week there, wow, where did the time go?
Hey, funny thing today! So the resident comes in today to give Miss B her Ativan push, she checks the IV site and calls me over, she asks me "does that look like blood to you?" okay, dude, I'm a second year nursing student! you're asking me? I look, and say "yes I do believe that is blood, and it looks as though whoever last did the push did not lock the line" she says, "wow, you're right! what do you think I should do?", uh, dude did I mention that I am a second year nursing student? I say "well, I think you should maybe flush it?" she says, "yeah, that's a good idea, I'll flush it" okay, now, I'm not sure if she was messing with me or what but c'mon! I was just pleased that I was able to identify the right arm from the left one! That was good times!!!

So the last time I wrote I told the sad tale of my old dog. We cried and hugged one another for a while but then we dried the tears and realized that if we didn't get a dog soon we were going to all start taking turns pretending to be dogs. So the husband and I went to the pound and we brought home a 2 year old Husky who ironically was given the same name as the old girl - Maggie. I ask you, who names a Husky Maggie? She had been picked up as a stray and had no intention of going by the name Maggie so we changed it to Souka. Our new girl is the absolute love of our days!!! She was just what this tear stained mixed up house needed. She has us all doing a jig!

How cute is she I ask you? I will leave things here. I promise to try and be a better blogger.
Take care and uh, did I mention I'm a second year nursing student?

Happy Halloween!!!

2006-10-31T06:24:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween Everyone!

I finished my midterms yesterday. Patho went well (I think) but the adult psych was a complete crash and burn. I admit I didn't study very much at all for the exam but aside from that I hate exams that don't test knowledge of concepts but rather test how well I can regurgitate what researcher said what. That was what most of the exam was~stupid! In any event it is over and I am glad.

So Boy Anchor is dressing up as a silent film director, we made him a megaphone and everything and Girl Anchor is dressing up as a pirate, she looks so cute! The Husband has to work tonight which is a drag, he usually takes them trick or treating and I stay home and dispense candy, this year they will go with friends. Things are still kind of wierd since his little bout of insanity, we are working at it though, slowly and one day at a time.

Now the sad stuff, Half Dead Wonder Dog is All Dead now. We had her put down on Saturday. She had gone for 2 weeks without eating and had drank very little. She was not walking at all and her eyes had that look of "I'm done". Last week when I returned from the hospital and tried to spoon feed her and cleaned up a mess I realized I was doing all the same stuff to her that I was to the patients in the hospital. Palliative care for my dog! We are very sad. Boy Anchor is especially sad, he cries at the drop of a hat and over the funniest things, Sunday at dinner he broke down because her head wasn't on his lap begging. I cried last night when I vacuumed because I watched all the little white hairs get sucked up. Sunday morning I actually forgot and came downstairs in the morning to put her out and couldn't find her, I actually looked outside to see if someone else had put her out and forgotten to bring her back in. The vet cried buckets, she stayed with her for a very long time and held her head, she said to us that she had always hoped that we would never ask her to do that to the old lady, but in the end she was glad that she was the one and not some stranger, she had been the old girl's vet for 14 years. I honestly thought that I would never be the kind of dog owner to do it either, but man she had deteriorated so much, she was barely functioning and it was in the end the humane thing to do. We were also afraid of The Anchors coming downstairs in the night and finding her. The Husband and I stayed with her but in the end I think only I should have, Husband was a mess. My old girl was a constant companion for 16 years. She was with me during every life altering change and I will miss her terribly.

Where does the time go?

2006-10-25T13:07:00.000-04:00

Holy Smokes! it is almost November. Where did the past 2 months go? I have been busy trying to learn all the material that I should have been learning while my life was falling apart because I am in the midst of midterms. 2 down 2 to go. Plus a couple of assignments.
So to recap, the last entry, I spoke of a patient who had the VAC machine on her wound. So we got to watch the changing of the dressing. Man that was something else. It turned out that the person who dressed it before skipped a step and the special sponge that goes on the wound was totally stuck to the exposed tendon. The nurse could not get that sponge off for love nor money, so they had to call the wound care specialist in. She went ballistic but she was able to get the sponge off. When she did what we saw was the wound which was 22cm long. The skin was working its way back together but the tendon was left on the outside of the wound. The specialist said that it was highly likely that the wound would close the tendon out and seeing as it was most likely dead now, the plastic surgeon would cut the tendon. The tendon was about the width of my finger and was all white. There was very little blood as the wound was really very closed. It was amazing to me how stoic the patient was during the entire thing, now granted she had been given a good dose of hydromorphone just 30 minutes prior.
Other update. Betty went on a date. Yes that's right, I went on a date with a guy that I met, he was 6'7". I came to his armpit. He was very charming and cute and there was a moderate amount of chemistry. Anyhoo, Dead Weight caught wind that I was going out and he spent the entire evening text messaging me. It's amazing what a little jealousy can do to get someone to wake up and smell the coffee, actually he had been sniffing around for a couple of weeks. Long and short of it is, with great reservations, I have decided to let Dead Weight pretend to be The Husband again. That is if he can keep it in his pants! We have been working a lot on his/my/our issues and we are trying to move forward, which is very hard given both of our schedules. Cross your fingers for old Betty that I come out of this alive and sane. The Anchors are ecstatic!
Half Dead Wonder Dog is very grim, she has not eaten for over a week. The vet is on call and we believe we may be putting her down very soon. We are very sad by this, but we just aren't doing right by her anymore, we are really keeping her around because we can't bring ourselves to face reality.
Well, that's it for now, gotta hit the books,
Take care

Tattoo mission accomplished

2006-10-12T16:42:00.000-04:00

So what do you all think? It is hard to get the full effect of the detail in the little guy but he is SOOOOO cute. When it is all healed up I will take another pic and post it. It hurt SOOOOO bad too. The artist said that she has one where I have mine and she said it was the second most painful one that she ever had, the first being the one on her neck and I asked her if that was why the one on her neck was just an outline and she said "oh yeah". I am so pleased with him. I think I'll name him Benny.

So today I had a patient with the coolest wounds. She has Peripheral Vascular Disease and as a result has 2 huge wounds on her leg. The one that I got to change the dressing on her leg was so cool. I removed the top dressing, pulled out the Mesalt and started cleaning the tunneled wound. I looked into the wound and looked up at the RN, who was smiling at me. She said what do you see in there? I described this white thing with black lines on it, she asked what I thought it was and I said I had no idea. She then explained that she had a vascular prosthesis and what I was looking at was an artificial artery. Apparently when the Mrs. B originally came it no one knew that she had this, the etiology of her wounds were unknown. The first time a very experienced nurse was cleaning the wound she thought it was a bit of gauze that had been left in there and actually tried digging it out, she then realized that it was just too perfect. After a consult they discovered that she had this prosthesis. The history given by the patient and her sister was very incomplete and they are finding out new things about this lady every day.
The other wound that she has is about 6 inches long, it runs the front of her shin. It is hooked up to a Vacuum-Assistance Closure machine. We get to see the dressing change on that tomorrow, I am so psyched! I'll let you know how it goes.

tomorrow is tattoo day!!!

2006-10-10T21:08:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I have finally worked up the balls to go and get the tattoo. I am getting a dragonfly on a black-eyed susan on my lower abdomen off to the side. I was concerned about distortion in that area with weight gain/loss and the gal said nothing to worry about where I have selected because even if my weight fluctuates in that area, it would be such a gradual process. I am really excited, I was talking with the tattoo artist and told her practically my whole life story in 5 minutes, she said that a dragonfly is perfect then because they symbolize rebirth. Wish me luck! I'll be sure to post a picture.

Happy Turkey Day

2006-10-09T09:57:00.000-04:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I have decided not to cook a turkey, I actually bought one and gave it away. I will cook a chicken though. Seems like too much effort this year. Anyhoo, gobble, gobble everyone. I am now going to attempt to read all the boring research/statistics reading that I have not read for the past 5 weeks.
Cheers!

Poor Mr. K

2006-10-06T22:36:00.000-04:00

I love clinical rotation. I think that it is the best time of the week for me. I usually get no more than 4.5 hours of sleep the nights before clinicals but spend the entire shift high on adrenaline. I cannot wait for Thursdays and dread 1400 Fridays. Today was no different, however today I was faced with a patient that struck so many nerves for me that it was overwhelming. Mr. K was admitted with mysterious edema to the penis, scrotum and upper legs. It was diagnosed as nephrotic syndrome, a condition common in diabetics. Along with his admitting complaint, Mr. K had multiple physical issues, he was diabetic, had renal and liver damage, CHF, COPD, alcohol abuse, 2 pressure ulcers on his buttocks, MRSA+, you name it he had it, on top of everything he also had social issues which compounded his physical issues. He lived in a low income apartment, again, alcohol abuse and on top of everything, he was INFESTED with bugs of every description. His hair, skin, clothes were covered with the evidence of lice, scabies, and BED BUGS. The frightening thing was that when I met him today, he had already been on the ward for a week, why had no one noticed his infestation sooner? I spent the entire day, in isolation garb, stripping and bagging linens etc. I felt that I spent all my time doing environmental stuff today and no actual patient care. These are not the issues that made Mr. K a difficult case for me personally. My father was an alcoholic and were it not for the dedication of my strong mother, I know that Dad would have lived the same existance as Mr. K, and ironically enough the worst thing of all is in his chart I saw that Mr. K was retired from the same line of work that my dear husband works in. I was struck with the idea that I am looking at a 30 progression of my poor troubled soul of a husband. Speaking of which, he has dumped the Roadwhore and is attempting to come back to life. I am being very neutral at the moment and not believing much until I see sincere change. He has a long road ahead of him and if I am at the end of that road then he will have to make sure he takes no wrong turns.

run down

2006-10-02T21:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, lets take a survey of my life right now.
-husband is gone
-Anchors are a mess
-desire to study gone
-blow dryer blew blue flames this morning
-forgot laptop charger at the cottage
-forgot sexy motorcycle boots at the cottage
-got a HUGE speeding ticket
-boat repairs in the spring = $500
-desire to be at cottage has ceased to exist, went there this weekend and couldn't get away fast enough
-did very poorly on patho quiz
-suspect did poorly on psych test today
-Half Dead Wonder Dog needs to be put down I think soon
life sucks

I have lost 220 pounds in three weeks

2006-09-25T21:22:00.000-04:00

Yep, thats true, I have lost 220 pounds. 10 pounds off my ass and 210 from around my neck. Today was the day that I stepped off the scale and came to the conclusion to cut that dead weight loose. The person formerly known as The Husband will from now on be referred to as Dead Weight. We still haven't told The Anchors, bad planning etc. PLUS the bastard went to Pittsburgh to see Slutface (she's a travelling slut with a show, yep thats right Dead Weight left me for a vapid aging dancer) until Wednesday. True to form too, he hasn't called The Anchors as he promised, man am I going to use that one - but not in how you would think. I won't say anything to him about it, I know he will say "oh sorry I forgot to call" and I will just nod, and say uh huh. Silence drives him nuts EVERY time. Game set match. I have decided that my method of getting under his skin will be by killing him slowly with kindness. I know him so well, he is dying for me to throw things and yell, won't happen. My days of irrational behaviour has stopped today. I am going to be the mature and responsible one here and will come out so far on top he will have to look at my (shrinking) ass to say hello.

So Murphy's Law was alive and well and living here today too. Wouldn't you know it, Dead Weight checks out of his family and The Anchors wake up sick, so I had to scramble to get someone to watch them because I had school and something told me that I had better go. I couldn't get someone until after class had started and I missed the first hour of Patho, wouldn't you know it, there was a pop quiz today that I missed. I went to the prof after class and she wasn't going to let me do it until I used my get out of jail free card and told her my tale. She not only let me take the quiz but she divulged to me that she had the same damn thing happen to her when she was in her last year. I think I actually did ok on the quiz too, I hope so, it would be our first piece of assessment this semester and I need something to boost my ego.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my blogging buddies for your words of support in this ridiculous time in my life. You will never know how much it means to me.

B

Age

2006-09-20T06:34:00.000-04:00

so, I have never, ever been caught up on age. I was always pleased with my life and the things that I had accomplished in the time that have been on this earth. I never felt I looked old or acted old...until yesterday. Yesterday was my birthday, and I was struck with the knowledge that at the age of 37 that I was at ground zero. My building has no foundation, and I have to rebuild. I have been going to school every day, I only dropped one class (bird course), I clean my house, I spend time with my kids, get Halloween organized, help my younger colleagues with insecurities, listen to my mother on the phone...you get the point - I have been going about my business, but the fact of the matter is I am still reeling from The Husband's announcement and I feel myself very slowly dying inside. He gives little glimmers of coming to his senses but then pulls back so vehemently it gives me soft tissue damage to the neck (anyone, anyone? whiplash). I told him if he is still committed to this plan of action then I want him out of the house asap because it is too painful to have him here, so we (he) is planning on telling The Anchors this weekend and then he is gone. To tell you how little he has thought this through - he hadn't even thought about where he would live, he assumed that I would just let him stay in the basement until we sold the house. He is renting a room from a friend, there is no room for the Anchors to stay with him. He wants to be able to come here whenever he wants to spend time with the Anchors (here), he wants to be able to pick them up everyday from school, weekends, you name it. He wants full access to what will become MY home (life) but not allow me any access to his. He is unwilling/incapable of committing to a set schedule of what days he will take the kids, so he wants this casual, spur of the moment schedule. Basically, he wants his cake, eat it too and have a dollop of whip cream on top. If this is the way things are going to be, seperated, then I don't want to see him everyday after school, I don't want him spending his "dad" time here. The Anchors are going to freak when this hits the fan, it is so from left field, you see, we don't fight, we hold hands, we were always an affectionate couple, that is until I went to the cottage for the summer (as we have always done, some summers he spends it up there and some summers I do) and he found someone else to hold hands with.
Thats enough for now, sorry to use this as a repository for my marital woes.

Studnet Nursie talk: Holy crap Batman - I am behind in my readings!

pathophysiology

2006-09-17T10:10:00.000-04:00

Oh my god, how do people learn this stuff? I have been reading pharmacology all weekend, my brain feels as if it is going to explode and I still don't know what they are saying. Any tips for absorbing this stuff? I just find the quantity of info is so vast and huge. Are there any tricks for taking a huge amount of info and breaking it down so I can grasp it?
I am still loving my clinical experience. My clinical instructor (CI) is awesome. She really supports our learning without doing it for us. She is so laid back and calm. I really feel that I won the CI lottery, compared with last semester.
Thats it for now, I need to get back to the grindstone. Any advice on learning is appreciated!
Betty

How long is this roller coaster ride???

2006-09-14T15:42:00.000-04:00

So I have spent every spare second talking with The Husband. Let me be the first to report that my 2nd year nursing diagnosis for this person is HE'S LOST HIS FLIPPING MIND!!! He is so confused and so full of self loathing that he is bordering in my opinion on a complete nervous breakdown. It is the nurse in me that isn't banging him over the head with a frying pan at this point in time. Up until last night it was all "I don't want to be married, I'm in love with Slutface, you and the kids are better off without me, I'm outa here" and then this morning while I'm at the hospital don't I get an urgent text message, I really need to talk to you. Basically the magnitude of his actions are hitting home, he was looking at pictures and had a whole day long pity party, when I got home I was expected to comfort him and help him cope with his decision to leave me and our kids. How is that logical? If I'm not mistaken, he fired my ass from comforter, go get Slutface to comfort you. I am not about to make him feel better because he is deserting his family. Ok, maybe I hugged him a little bit, but I am not going to say all the sweet nothings he wants. He's made his bed now he and Slutface can lie in it. All that said, if he came in the door and said that he was sorry and wanted to come back I would probably say ok. Help me with that sad fact please.

nursing talk: Had a great time at clinical today. Had my hand kissed by 3 different old geezers today. I am loving being a student nurse, and can't wait until I'm an actual nurse!

and the beat goes on

2006-09-09T11:07:00.000-04:00

So I am still in hell, the husband still is on his way out of my life, and naturally he has someone waiting for him to go to. Some tall beautiful blonde, which was once the description used for me but now I am just the demanding wife. That is all I am going to say about him.

Nursing talk: so I did my first 2 days in my new clinical placement. It is a critical care rehabilitation unit. A lot of stroke and accident patients all with multiple physical issues and many with social issues given that it is an inner city hospital. I had a client yesterday, she was an 89 year old who did not speak any english. She originally came into hospital in the beginning of August, she had a stroke, she was treated and sent home, she returned shortly after (Aug 14) because she fell, and had dislocated her shoulder. Her children can't deal with her and she doesn't want to go to a nursing home. Night before last she got out of bed by herself and was incontinent of urine on the bathroom floor and slipped and fell again this time she fractured her elbow of the other arm. I read her chart thinking that she might be a good case study for a reflective paper. Man, this poor woman has been so neglected! She doesn't speak the language at all, an interpreter has been called in only twice in the period that she has been there, there are chart entries such as "grimacing but reports no pain" they aren't even taking into account that perhaps this woman is in pain but can't report it because no one understands her language. Upon admission, her Morse Fall risk rating was a 40 greater than 25 is considered "at risk". She has been labeled at risk for falls but her chart shows no care plan to address that. In my opinion she is also at risk of hopelessness because no one is able to hear what she is saying. I think that some sort of picture board or word board be used so she can tell people basic needs would be helpful. It is one of many frustrating situations that I am sure that I will see in my career. We all get into nursing because we want to improve someone's condition, I suppose sometimes we have to be content just to maintain status quo. In this woman's case I don't think that either has been done.

gloomy days

2006-09-06T16:45:00.000-04:00

So just because my life wasn't crappy enough right now, don't I come out of school (of which it is taking every ounce of strength to go to) and my bicycle had been stolen. I love my bike, I drive it everywhere, and was going to be my only form of exercise this semester because of my work load, and now its gone. Imagine me taking public transit at a time that I really should not be standing on a subway platform. I hope whoever stole it gets run over by a bus and then he is the first patient that I have to help tomorrow (after taking the streetcar to the hospital) and I will just simply know that he is the person and I will cause him great deal of pain while cleaning his wound and getting the gravel out of his extensive road rash that will disfigure him for life. I wouldn't be doing anything to betray nonmaleficence because I still plan on treating him, it isn't my fault that his injuries are painful.
So, of course what do I do in a time of crisis, I reach out to the person I have been reaching out to for 22 years and he blasts me because he is always telling me to take the front tire of my bike, that thieves won't steal a one wheeled bike. We still haven't told The Anchors anything but they certainly know something is up because why would Daddy be coming in the door at 8am already dressed? Girl Anchor is particularly of concern for me. She is very sensitive and is passionately in love with her Daddy, if she only knew. I am numb and can't seem to concentrate on any school work. I haven't bought any books yet because I am not sure I am committed to staying with the program.
The Half Dead Wonder Dog decided that last night would be a good night to wake me up and poop all over the place then fall in it. I think we have some dog tears to shed soon on top of all the other emotions. I have been awake since 3am, my husband has left me, my kids are looking to me for answers and my dog is on her last leg. I swear I feel like I am drowning. I have cried so much today I have no more moisture in my body.

'Twas the night before school starts...

2006-09-04T22:13:00.001-04:00

...and all through the house, not a creature was organized especially the 36 year old nursing student.
Oh gosh, where oh where did the summer go? I brought the anchors home today from the cottage. They are absolute heathens. They were filthy and couldn't figure out how to unlock the front door. They were so excited though to be home in their beds and to see their dad. I am glad that school starts tomorrow, I really just want to get second year over because everyone goes on about how hard it is supposed to be.
I am going to go to bed now and promise I will get back to you all about orientation on Thursday, wow what an experience that was.
g'nite
-----------
Tuesday Night 11:43
above was a draft of the post from Monday night that I hadn't posted because I was hoping to make it more clever, my life right now is completely different. School is the last thing on my mind. My husband announced this morning 30 minutes before I was leaving for class that he wanted a divorce. I am losing my mind. I can't believe this is happening. I realize that now more than ever it is important for me to complete my degree but I haven't a clue how that is possible. He works crazy and quite unorthodox hours so the neat custody arrangements that most people have is out of the question, I will be left here raising two kids by myself with no support system from him. A friend spouted the old party line of things that don't kill us will make us stronger, my response was the things that don't kill us could also scar us for life. I don't know if I will be able to continue to post as my mind is so messed up right now. Thank you
Betty

EEEEEEEEEEEEEK - and no I didn't just see a mouse

2006-08-31T08:05:00.000-04:00

The cause of such a hair raising screech is the realisation that I am going back to school (again). It seemed like so long ago that first year ended. I swear I don't remember ANYTHING! I am terrified that they think I know all that stuff. Today is the orientation session. I will be meeting friends for sushi beforehand and they will all be so calm and cool because they remember everything where I will be shitting bricks because I don't remember my student number much less how to assess a patient for dementia. Sometimes when I think about this sort of feeling I understand the logic behind the programs that go straight through without summer vacations. I would imagine that the loss of knowledge is diminished for those students. But then again I don't think I could cope not having my time at the cottage. Oh the quandry.
So I am hoping for any suggestions into how to cram the information of first year into my noggin between now and oh lets say, Tuesday. Oh and did I mention that Labour Day Weekend is one of the biggest family events of the year!!! so I doubt that there will be too much reading going on this weekend. I know I need to prioritize.

Reality sinks in

2006-08-30T14:25:00.000-04:00

I'm home. I returned home yesterday from the cottage to attend to school stuff. I have orientation tomorrow when I will meet my clinical instructor (CI). I am working in a hospital that serves the inner city. hmmmm well at least it won't be dull. I am very excited but I feel VERY unprepared. I am hoping that feeling will go away soon.
I feel I must apologize for not writing on here, first off, the dial up at the cottage was terrible and my precious laptop crashed and I just got her back today. None of my preferances are how they were before, most of my pictures were lost, I am so upset, but at least its working again.
Well, I hope to have some good school and nursie related things to talk about starting Tuesday.
Cheers,
Betty

Wonder what the poor people are doing

2006-07-14T16:27:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been posting. The internet service here at the cottage is fragile to say the least, which meant that I wasn't able to check my results for the Bird course 1 and bird course 2 until today. Tell me that wasn't driving me around the bend! I passed them both, nice little boosts for the gpa in fact.
Life here at the cottage has been nice and relaxing. I have spent so much time with The Anchors and The Sisters, it has been wonderful. ALOT of boating and watersports.
The Half-Dead Wonder Dog is doing well, she is liking the slow pace up here, but she has been having a hard time with the heat and she won't go in the water.
I haven't received any e-mails from school telling me when the modules we need to learn will be ready, that is making me nuts because I see this as the perfect opportunity to be doing that rather than the last few weeks of the summer, I like to pace myself rather than cramming it all in last minute. I also haven't heard anything about when schedules are in or which hospital I am doing placement, I swear, a trained monkey could do a better job at running things.
Oh well, gotta go and flip the sister before she gets too crispy on the front.
Take care and I hope you are all getting a bit of summer to enjoy!
;o)

Happy Canada Day (yesterday)

2006-07-02T23:47:00.000-04:00

Happy Canada Day everyone. One of our favourite days of the year. We arrived at the cottage on Thursday and have been visiting with family and friends since then. We had a huge fireworks display last night, it was awesome until the finale when the heavens opened up and started to pour rain. All was fun, none the less.
I am soooooo tired since getting here, I can't believe it, I can't stop sleeping. I have come to the conclusion that our bodies know when they can relax.

Oh before I forget, a update on the anniversary fiasco. So, The Husband realized that he screwed up and made it up the next day with a little blue box, as everyone knows there is only one blue box that I get excited over, of the Tiffany variety. He bought me a beautiful platinum band. We discussed it extensively blah blah blah. All is well, and he promises to understand what I need to keep things lively and all that blabbity blab blab. I really love that guy.

That's it for now, not much to write except that I had bacon and eggs this morning, 3 bloody ceasars, 4 vodka coolers and steak for dinner.

Cheers

the worstest, baddest anniversary in the history of anniversaries

2006-06-28T09:22:00.000-04:00

...so yesterday was my wedding anniversary. I had told my husband some time ago that I wanted a plain gold band. He comes home from work without so much as a card or even a daisy that he pulled from the neighbour's garden. He didn't forget, because he said happy anniversary before he left and again when he came in the door. He chose not to that's all. While I was cooking him his favourite dinner, he came in for a little sugar (what he got was a bit of a cold shoulder) and he said something like he didn't get me anything because he couldn't decide what to get me. I said I told him months ago what I wanted. Whatever! So after dinner, we had to go out and get teacher's presents, after we shopped he started driving in the opposite route to home, I asked him where he was going and he said for a drive. We arrive at a jewellery store that I had used to have his SECOND wedding ring made (after he lost the first one, the second one which was identical to the first one, he said he didn't like, another long anniversary saga, basically, I love surprises but he hates them) but it was closed. I asked him what he was doing there and he said he was buying my ring, but because they were closed he would come back tomorrow. He didn't get why I was upset. I don't want him to think of what he will do for our anniversary after dinner on the day, I want it to be something that he plans for. This year I spent 3 days making him a slideshow dvd of pictures (all non digital so they all had to be scanned!) from our 20 years together, I worked on it in the middle of the night, when he was at work and had The Anchors lie and say they were using the computer for school work while it was burning the dvd so he couldn't use it. He loved it, cried the works. I went shopping for the ingredients to his favourite meal 2 days before. I planned it. He had the weekend to plan but he chose not to. So yeah I am selfish and childish but it was our anniversary and we have been married for 14 years, I believe that in order to keep things lively you have to surprise one another every once in a while, he has failed to surprise me and I am sad. I still love the goof but ARGH, never mind, no matter what I say it comes out like I am a whiney selfish bitch, because the man is awesome (sometimes).

Bad thing #2. Our toilet upstairs has been on the fritz and out of commission for 4 days. The Husband said he would fix it but alas had not, so there I was at 11:00 last night trying to fix it. I guess seeing me do that made him feel guilty so he came and helped. After 2 hours we had it all back together and guess what, it still didn't work.

So here I am, no ring and no upstairs crapper. Good thing it is one more sleep til Cottagemas, because otherwise I would throw my selfish whiney ass off a cliff.

4 more sleeps

2006-06-25T08:25:00.000-04:00

To tell you how close the cottage is to the water, I am standing in the water to take this picture. I know, I am getting boring with my cottage talk. But you have to understand this time of year is like Christmas to me. It is when I get to spend time with my family. I am incredibly close to my sisters and while we speak almost daily I only see them in the summer. It is also the place that I feel I have time to be a mom without other commitments. Blabbity blah blah blah.

Okay enough of that, so my to-do list this week is meeting with prof about little project for fall, lunch with friend, clean house and garden, shopping, and PACK!!! My summer to-do list is study for pathophysiology, modules for practical, lose 13 pounds, and eat bacon. hmmmm how will I accomplish those last two? I'll have to get back to you on those two. Any suggestions on what anatomy/physiology to concentrate on to prepare for pathophysiology?

Boy Anchor won the bronze medal round of the lacrosse championship and Girl Anchor won 3rd as well in the 4x100 metre relay, she also placed 9th overall for the 60 metre hurdles both at the citywide championships. So all of our sports commitments are out of the way now, no early morning track practices, no racing around getting dinner cooked at 4:30 for lacrosse practice, swimming finished a couple of weeks ago so I am free there and teeth are cleaned. I don't know how some parents that I talk with do it, their kids are in so many things. A mom at lacrosse yesterday told me her son was on 5 sports teams (field and box lacrosse being 2 of them) over the past 3 months. I can't even name 5 sports (but then again lacrosse is the only game for me). This was the first year that Girl Anchor didn't take dance, I don't know how we would have fit lacrosse twice per week, swimming twice per week, track 3 times per week and everything else if we had dance too. When do people spend time with their kids aside from driving them to and fro from one activity to another? I also don't know how people afford all the activities. In the fall we will have swimming and field lacrosse and that will be it. Girl Anchor wants to join a more competetive swim team but that would include more extensive travelling and early morning practices. The Husband wants the kids to take tennis lessons too. Help me find the NO in me. I know I won't and will be shuffling Anchors to and fro until they are 18.

Take care, and have I mentioned 4 more sleeps until Christmas?!

"Anchors" explanation

2006-06-21T07:51:00.001-04:00

Okay, so I have been without school obligations for 3 (business, anchor free) days now. I don't count the weekend because well, those aren't anchor free now are they. It is this time when I am finished school but they aren't and I have to sit in the city and roast while waiting for them to be finished school, that the name "Anchors" becomes meaningful. A few years ago I made the statement "they are like anchors around my neck keeping me in the city when I could/should be at the cottage". Ever since then the name has stuck. I love the little beggers, don't get me wrong but it seems at this time of year that I get a little edgey with them. They get a little edgey with school and being home too. They want to be at the cottage as badly as I do, they hate the heat of the city. Girl Anchor complains of not being to sleep because of the noise from having her window open, her little eyes are so puffy from sleepless nights. Boy Anchor wears ear plugs but his complaints are the smells of summer?!? help me with that one. He says he doesn't like to smell the garbage cans on his way to school on garbage day in the summer. He actually came home yesterday all dramatic gasping, he said he held his breath almost the whole way home. Considering that we live a good 6 minute walk from school I don't think so.

So there you have it, the explanation to the name Anchors. I get edgey with them, they drive me nuts, I always say that I didn't sign onto parenthood willingly that I was drunk, (I was really only drunk with Girl Anchor, I was actually on the pill with Boy Anchor, I was that 1% that gets away) but I love them and only I get to call them The Anchors because they are mine. The Husband calls them the Tax Write Offs. Yeah I know, we win parents of the year...AGAIN ;o)

p.s. plus I have been shuffling the Anchors around to dentist appointments and orthodontist appointments etc. so really how Anchor free have my days been?

YEEEOOOUUUUCH!

2006-06-19T08:57:00.000-04:00

What do you get when you put a hammer into Betty's hands? One big ugly purple finger, that's what. While laying new floor at the cottage this weekend with The Husband, I smashed my finger with a hammer and now it is a painful throbbing sausage. I have been trying to work up the courage to pierce the nail to release some of the pressure. Wish me luck.

aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2006-06-16T08:53:00.000-04:00

What is that I hear? Could it be the sound of the birds chirping outside? When did it become summer? When did The Anchors grow 3 inches each? When did The Husband become a year older and a year more handsome? When did my garden grow like a jungle? When did I get so much grey hair? When did my car and my house become so dishevelled and dirty? When did the neighbour down the street die? When did my other neighbour have his tree cut down? When, when, when???
Over the past 9.5 months, thats when. It is amazing how the first year of school has happened and my life went on without me. I wrote my last exam yesterday and I am now stuck with the very difficult decision of: What do I do first? Well it is 0854, I have sent The Anchors off to school, I have planted beets in the garden, raked the grass, watered the garden (jungle), hung a load of laundry, and now I am about to pack to go to the cottage. I wish so much that The Husband was home though to have one last afternoon together. I am excited though that he is taking the first week of summer vacation off. I miss him so much. He works entirely too much but has to because I don't. One day, I'll take care of him though, I can't wait for that day.
Take care, thanks for reading.

Popular Culture

2006-06-14T18:37:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I am studying for bird course #2 Popular Culture and not a word of a lie, I am reading about Keanu Reeves and virtual reality. How can I take this seriously??? The guy gave us sample essay questions yesterday, one of them was about Ferris Bueller's Day Off. "In this clip, Ferris Bueller and his pals scheme to win a table at a fine dining restaurant. What does the film suggest it takes in order to earn class mobility? To what extent is this true? " and another was about The Truman Show "In this clip, Truman exchanges flirtatious glances with Lauren, his "true love" before Truman's future wife intrudes. What might the film be suggesting is the difference between an ideal and a deviant femininity?" I'm supposed to write 500 words on questions like these. Help me before I sink into the abyss of insanity!
I think I bombed bird course #1 exam today. I am just tapped. I don't have it in me to write about stuff I don't care about. Actually I am just tired and want a break. Say it with me--One more day and no more homework, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks for 2 glorious months. I will have modules that I am expected to learn over the summer and of course I will want to relearn anatomy/physiology to prep for pathophysiology next semester but otherwise, I am a free agent. I am looking forward to playing cards with the Anchors, chatting with neighbours, watching tv with The Husband, plucking my eyebrows without thinking of the time that I am wasting. You name it, I'll be doing it, hell, I am even looking forward to cleaning my house!
I singed all the hair off my arms tonight lighting the barbeque, now my arm smells funny. Any suggestions?
Well back to the People Magazine that is my Pop Culture text book. Thanks for reading ;o)

yawn........

2006-06-12T23:09:00.000-04:00

Tony's essay is sleeping with the fishes, unfortunately I'm not going to be doing any sleeping with fishes or otherwise this week. I have bird course #1 exam on Wednesday and bird course #2 on Thursday. They are more annoyances than anything, but still I would really like to get them out of the way.

Tony's essay is okay, it isn't the best thing that I have ever written, it is just about the longest though, just shy of 3000 words. It says A LOT of stuff but I am lacking my usual flow. I just don't have it in me to write any more essays for at least oh I don't know, say 2 months.

The cottage this weekend was fun, busy but fun. We worked our butts off getting ready for the season. Every inch is aching, but it is all for a good cause because in 3 weeks I will be eating bacon and drinking vodka on my dock in the sunshine and that is a good thing.

The Half Dead Wonder Dog is getting kinda slow, I am hoping that she will not increase her fraction at least until the end of the summer.

That's all for now, gotta get back to sociology and ideological hegemony. I personally feel that hegemony is alive and well when they make me take these courses. I don't think that the patients will care if I know how capitalism advances inequalities of any sort when I am inserting their Foley.

Take care ;o)

convocation

2006-06-12T12:56:00.000-04:00

I had my last class of bird course #104 today. When I entered the campus I could tell that something exciting was going on, while I was locking up my bike I heard bagpipes. I turned around and saw the pipers were marching the graduating class through the campus on their way to the auditorium for convocation. They all looked so happy and light. There were some family members on the sides clapping and taking pictures. It is an absolutely beautiful day here today, the sun is shining, there is a beautiful breeze and no humidity. No one will be wilting in their robes. When I came out after class it was obvious that the ceremony was over, everyone was out on the lawn eating lunch. They had these big tents and tables and chairs set up. It looked beautiful. I want that. I can't wait for that, but I guess I will have to. 3 more years and that will be mine.

update

2006-06-08T08:49:00.000-04:00

I am bitter today. Bitter because I have to go to school instead of going and seeing Girl Anchor at her track and field meet. She is running in the 60 metre hurdles and the 4x100 metre relay. I get bitter when school gets in the way of my seeing the events of life. The Husband is going and will video it all for me but his video abilities leave much to be desired. Oh well, she has her fancy new green hornet shoes so she will run like the wind no doubt. How do you moms out there cope with disappointment when work/school keeps you from life?
This topic reminds me of this analogy/story that my sister sent to me yesterday by e-mail.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you t o recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Too true eh?

Have a good golf ball day

quiz

2006-06-05T23:53:00.000-04:00

Everyone seems to be coming up with these clever little questionaires that are supposed to tell you something about yourself. I love those things, but I am not clever enough to ever figure out what they are telling me. I have made my own.

How old do I look? - don't answer that
Do I look fat in this? - don't answer that
Where did you wake up this morning? - not where I went to sleep
What is your favourite day of the week? - garbage day
How do you feel about polygamy? - If a guy can have 3 children and love them all equally why not 3 wives? but what if I want 3 husbands? (this stems from my new interest in the HBO show Big Love, only because it is on Sundays after Tony)
What is your favourite planet? - Pluto
What do you say to your mother when she asks: Do I look fat in this? - "yes"
Should I skip pop culture tomorrow? - yes
Should I clean the bathroom? - oh yes
What is your favourite tree? - bonsai
Why do you like celery? - because when it crunches I try to imagine that the crunch is from potato chips
mac or PC? - mac
mac and cheese or PC? - mac and cheese
How many times per week do you speak to your sisters? - at least 3 times each (I have 2) and for at least 45 minutes each - that's 4.5 hours per week!
Reason you blog? - because I'm the boss of my blog (kind of)
Cats or Dogs? - dogs
Favourite Bug? - dragonfly or ladybug, that's a hard one
Do you like your mother in law? - occasionally
When do you like your mother in law? - when she isn't here or when she is weeding my garden

I think that is the extent to my cleverness. I invite you to a) interpret what any of the questions mean and/or b) add your own questions ; )

getting squirmy

2006-06-05T23:30:00.000-04:00

So I am one essay and two exams away from finishing the sociology courses. Thank goodness because I am about to go crazy with these courses. The talking around in circles is driving me nuts. I want to ask a question and not be answered with another question. I spent the entire night researching for the Soprano essay. I went onto the HBO site. If anyone is interested, they have an awesome site on every one of their shows. The Sopranos one is amazing, they have an episode summary of all episodes and explanations of who each character is etc. Really comprehensive.
I am tired, dog tired. I just don't know how I am going to keep my butt in gear for the next week and a half. I have to get this essay done before this weekend because I am going to the cottage this weekend come hell or highwater. Essay is due Tuesday, Exams are Wednesday and Thursday. So what am I doing on here when I should be studying or writing? Wasting time that's what, but I know you all understand don't you. Thank you
B

Whaddya lookin' at?

2006-06-04T08:31:00.000-04:00

Well, I have moved onto essay number 2. I will then be finished writing for a deadline until fall semester. I am elated but tapped. I barely have the ability to write my name much less write some brilliant analysis suitable for the quick mind of a pop culture professor. I am sending out calls for any and all thoughts about The Sopranos and why do we love Tony despite all the bad stuff he does? I am also looking for insight into his Machiavelli complex and anyone who is intimate with any gangster films with an opinion is welcome. I love the Godfather films so I can make some good references to them but that's about it. I will be watching Goodfellas, Public Enemy and Casino this week. I really want to ace this essay but I fear I just don't have it in me. I can't wait to write the F word in a university paper though. Tonight is the season finale until January for my beloved Tony. So sadly I will have to get my fix of him in reruns. Hopefully they will run some past seasons considering this season has been a little hit or miss.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend and if you don't have any Soprano insight, "Fuhgeddaboutit"

Dilemma

2006-06-03T15:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, essay is done. I like it, I really do. I never say that about my writing, but today I am pleased. It reads well, easy and clear, raises interesting points. DILEMMA: it doesn't really answer the question. I was supposed to take an inequality of society and find the theory of sociology that best describes it. I chose gender inequality as you may (probably) know and I spoke well about gender inequality for both sexes, gave great examples but spoke only a little of how each theory explains it. What to do what to do? It is due Monday. I need a cookie.

edit 1930 - I have reread the essay 14 times. I like it as it is. I am going to hand it in and hope that he will be dazzled by how brilliantly it is written and forget that it has nothing to do with the actual question. Wish me luck

C A N ' T M O V E C A N ' T W R I T E H E L P

2006-06-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

I am stumped on the essay. It started out so amazingly well, I am halfway done and have hit the wall. AND I am on like day 700,038,498 of no sugar and my body and mind are hating me. I don't know if I can do it another minute. I now think I have a bit of insight to the plight of the smoker on a plane to Australia. Any suggestions? Anyone out there ever tried to kick a life time habit cold turkey? Oh my heck, I would give The Anchors away for a chocolate chip cookie right now. And we have a big box of those little bite size chips ahoys. Help, I feel like I am spiralling into the abyss. mommy......................................................................................................

p.s. how sad is this? In 2003, of the 241,342 nurses in Canada, only 12,745 of them were male. That is shocking. What can we do to fix this? It all stems from public's perception of the profession of nursing as being a feminized less valuable profession. I am going to spend the rest of my time on this earth trying to improve the image of nursing, don't know how but I am going to try. A diverse professional body to serve a diverse population. That's what we need.

It's a major award part 2

2006-06-01T22:20:00.000-04:00

So, tonight was the awards ceremony. I was granted Faculty of Nursing Leadership award. I was pretty proud because of all the recipients I was the only one who isn't on any of the school organizations. At the beginning of the school year all of the school groups canvas heavily to get you to join their organization, there is a group for just about every single thing imaginable, but I chose not to join anything. I just don't have the time, I barely have the time to feed the Anchors and do my reading, I couldn't possibly imagine giving a bunch of time to organize pub crawls (I don't mean that to say that that is all these organizations do, I know that many of them do a great many things to advocate for the student). So anyways, yeah, as I was saying, I went down the list of the recipients for the other awards and a great many of them belonged to something. So what I am saying is that I am pretty darn proud of being honoured for being a plain old student who shows up.
Other good thing was that Boy Anchor finally won a lacrosse game tonight too. The Husband and he were able to stay and see me get my award and then the scooted off to play. Girl Anchor stayed with me, she was so sweet, it was really boring (for a 10 year old, I personally loved it), but she stayed there the whole time attentively listening and clapping for all the recipients.
Bad thing was that The Husband decided to pick a quarrel in the restaurant after. What a way to spoil a great evening. So he is in the dog house as far as I am concerned. Other bad thing is that I wore dress shoes and now have hamburger feet, just as they were healing from the wedding 2 weeks ago.
The award ceremony got me jazzed for year 2. I can't hardly wait until September. I am so excited to become a nurse but I still have 3 long years, but at least in September I will be in the hospital twice per week.
Thanks for reading. Back to the essays. Hope to have them both finished this weekend. Can't see it though.

Now I've heard everything

2006-05-31T08:40:00.000-04:00

Last week there was a news report where a judge didn't sentance a man to jail time because he was short, this week there is a trial going on where a man who murdered his wife is asking for the state to pay for gender reassignment surgery. The state had already paid for psychological therapy as well as female hormones and lasar hair removal. COME ON!!! Is this for real? I want a boob lift, my thighs sucked and I'm kinda tired of shaving my legs too. So should I go knock off a convenience store and say I did it because I felt badly about my fat ass? And that the province should pay for it, not to mention those who I victimize? I don't lack compassion, I have a great deal of compassion, it is just compassion for the poor woman he murdered and her family. I do have great compassion for individuals with gender identity disorder but I agree with the judge that if this man is granted surgery and tries to return to the male prison then he will surely be killed either that or very popular, and on the other side of the coin if they were to transfer him to a female prison by merit of his new gender then I think the female prison population could be at risk. That judge is in a pickle and I hope the lord is able to guide him to the best decision.
Thanks for reading.
p.s., I am playing hookey from school today. I just can't bring myself to go and listen to that man talk about how I am jealous of my neighbour and that's why I go and buy stuff, and then the media is hiding it all.

Progress Report

2006-05-30T16:45:00.000-04:00

It is stinking hot here. Now all of you who are in Southern hemisphere states don't call me a wimp, just remember I am a Canadian girl through and through, so my blood just doesn't adapt to 3 days in a row of 33 degree heat. It has been very difficult to concentrate on the reading that I have been doing for my essays. The progress is good however I am pleased to say. While the essay outline is long winded, it is done and the teacher said it is okay that they are over a page, he'll cut me some slack. The gender inequality essay is coming along rather swimingly I may say. Stay tuned for excerpts.

So today is also day two of my attempt to rid my body of the white powder poison...sugar. I have been making a concerted effort to not consciously consume things like cookies, granola bars and sugar in my tea. It is not going well, I have come to the conclusion that eating little cookies for me is the same as someone smoking. It is an oral fixation thing. I read an article though that said that after a week or so of no sugar your body will stop craving it. I sure hope so because I was howling at the moon last night while The Husband ate ice cream. Don't you just love supportive spouses who know that you are trying to stick to a regime and goes out and buys two tubs of ice cream just because they were on sale.

Hope you all are keeping cool in this heat and cottage season can't come soon enough. It is amazing how tolerant of the heat I am when I am sitting on the dock compared to sitting in my basement because it is easily 10 degrees cooler than the rest of the house. Take care, and thanks for reading.

tattoo or not to tattoo

2006-05-28T23:43:00.000-04:00

I want to get a tattoo, call it midlife crisis if you want but the truth of the matter is that I have wanted one since I was 16 years old and have just been waiting until the feeling went away. Well, I'm 36 (going on 90 as The Husband likes to say) and the feeling hasn't gone away. what do you think of the dragonfly? I am also thinking of a Canadian flag on my calf as I am a hardcore proud Canadian. I need input from someone other than Sister 2.
Let me know, the phone lines are open for the voting to begin

p.s., look who is a REALLY smart Betty for figuring out the image thingamajiggy AND my oven is clean. It has been a semi productive weekend. Too bad essay #1 is only 438 words out of 2000

Is there a nurse in the house??? and a call for grilling recipes

2006-05-28T17:22:00.000-04:00

So I took the Anchors for a long bike ride today, at the end of the trail there is a steep hill, as I was going up the hill my chain fell off and I was clipped to my pedals (I wear shmancy cycling shoes) and I went down like a tonne of bricks and now I have an awesome case of road rash on my knee. Big Lucy WAAAAHHHHHHHHH. AND ITS GARDENING SEASON!!! How can I kneel in my garden when there isn't any skin on my knee? There was a nice stone under the skin too; I remember when I took my motorcycle course, the instructor said that with all the medical advances, the treatment of roadrash was they gave you a brush and put you in a room all by yourself to scrape the gravel out. OUCH. I figured that further abrasion = further trauma, so I used a syringe that I had and just flushed the little stone out. I was amazed to see the thing shoot out, COOL! I would have preferred someone else do it for me though, but alas, there isn't a nurse in the house, oh yeah, there is a STUDENT nurse, ME.

I have been doing some recipe experiments for summer grilling. Tonight's menu consists of grilled tuna steaks with this awesome sauce that I made, it goes like this 1/2 cup mayonaise, 2 teaspoons of soy sauce, 1 teaspoon of wasabi and 1 teaspoon fresh ginger. I am chilling it and I will put a scoop of it on the steaks after they are grilled. Then we are having rosemary potatoes and I am going to try grilled asparagus. Never tried it but I am going to tonight. Any good grilling recipes? Because we entertain most of the summer at the cottage and because the kitchen is so small I do almost all the cooking on the bbq so I am always looking for new recipes.

Hope everyone's weekend went well and was road rash free. Thanks for reading.

I don't know...

2006-05-27T08:20:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was the funeral of Captain Nichola Goddard, the first Canadian female soldier to be killed in combat, killed on May 17th. I don't support our ever increasing involvement in Afghanistan but I fervently support our soldiers. Does that make sense? I feel that our Prime Minister Stephen Harper has it the other way around by his copy cat decision of George Bush to disallow media coverage of the repatriation ceremonies of fallen soldiers. Capt. Goddard's father spoke of his disagreement with Harper's decision as he eulogized his daughter and capped it all off perfectly by saying "I would like to think Nichola died to protect our freedoms, not to restrict them." I feel that Mr. Harper and Mr. Bush are trying to ignore the fact that people are getting killed half way around the world, and they definitely want us to ignore it. This is propaganda, similar to that of the "press pool" of the days in Vietnam, where every bit of information that was told on the television first went through the pentagon.

I don't know why I am so upset by this woman's death, I never met her but somehow I feel as though I know her. We must not forget the soldiers who are overseas no matter what our views are on military involvement.

not under there

2006-05-26T10:58:00.000-04:00

Where have all the highlighters gone? I can't find a single one. I have looked in the couch and while I found what happened to that cookie last week I found no highlighters, I looked under my bed, wow has it been that long since I vacuumed under there, I looked in my knapsack, yikes, now I know what that smell has been - an old banana, I even looked under the half dead Wonder Dog. I can find NO highlighters, not a single solitary one. I know that I threw a bunch out during finals because they were dried out but I couldn't have thrown them all out. Does this mean that I have to get dressed to go to the store and buy some??? maybe I'll just use a crayon.

Should I or Should I not get dressed today?

2006-05-26T09:09:00.000-04:00

I am dog tired. This has been a killer week, what with swim practice, lacrosse 3 times this week, midterms and everything in between. Just when I don't think I could do another thing, the phone rings and a parent calls and asks if I can manage their anchors too. The question is do I say what I really want to say which is "No, I am entirely too busy"? no I say "Of course I would love to take care of your anchors as well as haul mine all over the city for all their business and study in the car". Why can't I ever say "no" my husband always asks me. There are many reasons why I don't say no, and the one is purely self serving and that is because in the Fall and Winter I have absolutely no problem calling in every single one of those favours in spades. The other reason I don't say no is because I know how difficult it is for parents to ask, a mom who's worth her salt would never ask unless it was really necessary. Plus if I have to haul 2 anchors in what's the diff between a few more, unless it was the one I had to haul with me yesterday. He is a friend of boy Anchor, is 12 and has developed that interesting pre-teen aroma that was just wafting around in the minivan. Made the half dead Wonder Dog smell like a bouquet of roses.
So do you see who is the smartest Betty in the whole world for figuring out the links thingamajig. Just don't ask me how I did it, because I haven't a clue but I did. I actually cut the code stuff and just kept dropping it on my template until it showed up. I have put a little note to anyone that would like their link removed, I am too Canadian I guess, I don't want to assume anything. So now I'm set. The next challenge I will try and figure out will be pictures. That may be a long time in coming but worth it because I love images. I really really really want a Canadian flag logo on my sidebar, any clue how to do that? remember to use small words.
So I have no school today and am planning on doing hard core research for the essays, and writing the outline that has to be handed in on Thursday, but I am just so comfy wearing my nightie, I just may stay this way. What do you think? Maybe just so I look "dressed" I'll put on a pair of scrubs, cozy yet "dressed". Speaking of dressed, I am still wondering what the ding dang to wear to the awards on Thursday. How fancy are these things? I mean how fancy can it be? it is in the afternoon. I was just thinking slacks and a sweater set kinda thing. That way I can still get away with wearing my Birks maybe.
Well, have a great day and weekend. I was going to go to the cottage but again am staying home because it is crappy weather again : ( I miss my cottage and I know my cottage misses me. Summer can't come soon enough.
Thanks for reading.

Me Lacrosse coach???

2006-05-24T23:18:00.000-04:00

It is late Wednesday night and I have added another first to my life's list. Lacrosse coach. Well not really. You see, the Husband had to work tonight and there was an unscheduled (make-up) game so I went in his place. There I was in the box with the team, screaming my head off, "sticks up" "home - go home" "pass it, pass it" "nice save" and my personal fave "Ah, c'mon ref, do you need glasses?" Needless to say, my throat is raw as hamburger. I don't have one ounce of the ability that The Husband has in the box though, he is amazing with those kids and they just eat him up. Boy Anchor was pretty cool about having his Mum in the box with him (I think). The Husband has to work tomorrow night too and it is the first game of play offs so guess what, I'm in again. It was funny, because usually when the kids get hurt all the dads just tell them to walk it off, or suck it up. There I was, icing the knees, palpating the neck (that got hit by a ball) and checking on the twisted ankles, and why you ask? because I am Betty BScN (cand).

Anyways, it was fun. I just wish I had a clue what I was doing. Maybe I'll get the real coach (husband) to give me some pointers

; )

P.S. I am obviously a computer ignoramus because for the life of me I cannot get my poor little blog to have a links page. I did what they told me to do and I still can't seem to figure it out. I have been trying and trying honest I have. And when I do, what is the etiquette? do I put a link to whomever I enjoy reading or should I ask permission first? Remember I am extremely new to blogging.

Keep on Truckin'

2006-05-24T16:09:00.000-04:00

So the midterms went okay (I think). The pop culture one was so specific, it asked questions based only on the readings and absolutely nothing from lectures, thank goodness I did (most of) the readings. I have also gotten really good at answering multiple choice exams. I go evaluate the choices and of course if ever there is ever 1 out of 4 that is completely different then the others well then clearly that is the answser. Whenever I have two possible answers I always choose c and I never automatically choose all of the above even though I really really want to. The other soc exam was very good, it was very reflective of everything we spoke of in lectures and of the readings, so I think I will be okay there too.

So now I am doing research for the essays, I have to submit an outline June 1st for the pop culture one (Sopranos) and the other one (gender inequality) is due June 5th. I am looking for any and all input into the gender inequality one and am asking the question "Why do we ascribe a preconceived set of notions to an individual based upon gender?" I am going to speak of the lack of female politicians and the lack of men in caring professions. Any other ideas? I'm all ears.

So the half dead Wonder Dog has developed an increasingly interesting aroma, thank goodness that it has become warm enough to have the windows open. I am also calling out to any remedies for smelly dog syndrome within the household.

I finally got to see the season finale of er. Yeah, Celestial, I'll agree with you, it wasn't that earth shattering, but it was very sad. While I never really bought the whole Neela/Gallant thing she did do a really good job with the water works in this finale. The "cliffhanger" aspect of the show was not too too grand. So you have Luka with a tube down his throat, tied to a gurney, what do they want us to believe that no one will ever go into that room and find him? And yes Abby is bleeding all over the place but, someone will find her too. And where better than a hospital to be pregnant and bleeding all over the place. Either I am tired of er or it hit me on a bad night. I did love that song though even if they did copy cat Grey's who copy catted Sopranos for always ending with a very apropos song.

Well that's it for now, sorry its so boring. Thanks for reading.

have I become illiterate?

2006-05-22T08:43:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I have off and on all weekend been trying to prepare for these sociology midterms. I have read every single word assigned and I am still completely blank. Have I lost the ability to comprehend the written word or is it that most of these articles that range from early societies to violence in films such as Robocop, are just too abstract for what has become my well-honed scientific brain : ) (yeah right) I mean questions in nursie courses are so cut and dry, nice and clear. I like that, but these sociology courses have explanations that go on for pages and at the end I'm still not sure what the answer is. So wish me luck on the midterms this week because I have a feeling that I'll be doing a whole lot of eenie meenie minie moe.
So the weather this weekend made me kind of relieved that I wasn't at the cottage after all (only a little relieved though) I got up early Saturday morning and went shopping, I tried on a gazillion dresses and settled on a gorgeous black dress with white embroidery. It looks like something Audrey Hepburn would wear in Roman Holiday. I really like it. Of course seeing as I weigh at least 50 pounds more than dearly departed Audrey I pulled out the old corset. Between my feet feeling like raw meat by the end of the night and all my organs being compressed, I was happy to get home and out of that. It was really nice to see friends that we haven't seen in a long time though and it really meant a lot to the bride that we were there because there were really not very many people there, I felt kinda badly for the couple. I have been wondering if the dress is too fancy to wear to the awards ceremony next week. Otherwise I'll have to go and buy something else, which is not something I really want to do, seeing as I am kinda traumatized by this last experience.
Well, back to Marxism and biological determinism and Max Weber and RoboCop. Thanks for reading. Have an awesome day.

Long May Wedding

2006-05-19T18:24:00.000-04:00

Here I am on the Friday of the Long May Weekend, am I sitting in my car trying to get through traffic to spend the weekend at the cottage like I should be? NO I am sitting on my couch feeling bitter because I have to go to a wedding tomorrow. Honestly, who gets married on the Long May Weekend??? So my annoyance does not end with the destruction of my weekend, it continues. I of course do not have anything to wear to said wedding, I don't wear fancy clothes EVER. I consider myself dressed up when my socks match. So there I was today spending the better part of my afternoon trying to find somethng to wear. Guess what, I have nothing. I went to 6 different stores and came home with nothing but 2 new bras and a wallet. So I am freaking out slightly, when I got home I looked at the invitation to see how much time I would have in the morning to try and shop some more and that leads me to annoyance number 3. The ceremony starts at 1:00 but the reception doesn't start untiil 6:30!!! Come on, what the heck is that about? Either the ceremony is ridiculously long or these people are just testing us to see if we will actually jump through all the hoops they set out for us. The best part of all this is that these people really are not that important in the grand scheme of our lives. The bride was someone that the husband went to high school with 20 years ago. He hasn't seen her in about 12 years. But he is like that, he makes a friend and he is friends with that person for life, one of the reasons I love him (even if it drives me crazy sometimes) We have never met the groom. There is even more funny stuff about this situation but I am not going to write it because you will think that I am making it up. The husband feels obligated to go because apparently no one else is giving up their long weekend and the number of invited guests that are actually coming is very low. Okay, I know what you're thinking, that I'm insensitive and selfish, and you would be pretty well right, when it comes to going to the cottage I am both those things. Of course I'm happy for the couple, and I wish them a wonderful day, I just hope I can paint a smile on my face and find something appropriate to wear.

Oh well, so I am home for the Two Four weekend, its for the best, I need to do research on these essays, and the dial up of the cottage is just more than I could bear.

I guess the shopping issues bring me to another quest of mine. I really need to lose some weight. I have gotten so doughy sitting in lectures for the past year. I couldn't believe how badly I looked in all the stuff I tried on. I am looking for any suggestions of how to fit exercise into my school day, any suggestions that don't include waking up at 4 in the morning to run in the dark that is. I ride my bike when weather permits, so I've got that going for me.

So happy Victoria Day everyone out there. If you are sitting on your dock right now, good on you. And if you are staying home because you have something else that you can't get out of, I feel your pain.

Thanks for reading. Have a great, and safe Long Weekend.

piece of advice from my youth: don't put the extinguished firework in the bonfire, even if you think its a dud, it will chase you with a loud bang, my sister still freaks out when we have fireworks

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-19T00:05:00.000-04:00

I was studying for my sociology midterms (next week) like a good girl and I forgot all about the season finale of er. I am so grumpy now.

Its a major award!!

2006-05-18T16:55:00.000-04:00

Any fans of the Christmas Story out there? when the dad wins the "major award" which turns out to be a great big lamp in shape of a fishnet clad leg (if I knew how to insert pics I would do so here) I love that movie and that line and any time anyone in our house wins anything we say it, it is usually the husband or the anchors though who say it, never Mommy because well I don't ever do anything to merit an award actually (and I'm okay with that). Well today I got a letter in the mail that had me saying "Its a major award". I was awarded the Leadership award from my faculty of nursing. Its funny because I spent the year suppressing any urge to lead, opting for trying to be a good group member instead and then they go and give me an award for Leadership. I am very proud and embarassed at the same time. I don't know why. Oh well, its cool that they give awards for bossing people around.

So I decided that I would come up with my own topic for the pop culture essay (although I do agree, Breakfast Club is the ultimate class movie). My title is "why do we love Tony?" Why, even though Tony Soprano is the bad guy, a killer, a gangster, etc. do we find ourselves rooting for him? I know he is conflicted etc. but still there has to be more to it than that. I'll get back to you when I figure it out.

Thanks for reading, and have a great day

ITS A MAJOR AWARD!!! (not the Dean's list but still, yay me)

I'll pay you

2006-05-16T15:56:00.000-04:00

Okay, so when regular classes ended I lost all ability to read and write, not a problem for most of my classmates but big problem for me because I am taking the two sociology courses. Where I used to be able to read Potter and Perry until my eyes bled I can't get through 10 pages of this stupid Pop Culture book to save my life. I also have midterms next week and papers due in each class. For the life of me I can't begin to write the 2 essays. One is going to be about gender bias and I have decided to put a spin on it and rather than the usual bias that women can't be fire fighters I am going to speak about the lack of men in caring professions such as nursing (big surprise), so I am interested in anything any guys out there have to say about any biases that they have been hit by. The pop culture essay is not coming along as I had hoped, in fact it isn't coming along at all. I am supposed to take a movie that presents itself as "the way things are", that claims to have no agenda but then pick it apart and find that after all there is a hidden message about any one of the following headings, class, gender, race, or sexuality. One of the movies the teacher suggested was actually Ferris Beuller's Day Off. I am supposed to be able to debate this movie from a "class" perspective. 2000 words on Ferris Beuller! I just don't think that John Hughes meant to be saying anything when he made that movie, it is a fun light movie, there is a bit of teen angst with Cameron the friend having his epiphany after sending his father's car out the windo but that's about it really. Oh well, Whatever. So if anyone has any tips on that one too I would be so grateful.
I am tired and just want to take a nap but instead I am reading about the decline of the feudal system.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Happy Mother's Day

2006-05-14T18:56:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. I went to the cottage this weekend and spent the weekend spring cleaning, but it is all worth it because shortly summer will start and I will plant myself at the cottage for the whole darn summer (yippee).
I spent some time with my mother and sisters which was great. I wish my mother would quit smoking though. It drives me crazy, she and her husband ( >: | ) both smoke like chimneys, they refuse to quit or slow down and would you believe this weekend Morty (nickname of new dad) actually tried to tell me that all the medical data that proves without a shadow of a doubt that smoking leads to MANY health complications is all propaganda. He actually used those words, propaganda. He told me that they are trying to brain wash me at nursing school. This is a man who's first wife died of lung cancer!!!seriously. I find it so frustrating because I know that my mother has emphysema (undiagnosed) because no one coughs like that in the morning just 'cause, and my father died of lifestyle related complications and I don't want to lose her prematurely too, but what can I do, she's a 65 year old person with all of her faculties, there is nothing that anyone can do unless she wants to quit. Oh well.
Mother's day for me was a bit of a bust. The husband stayed home because he had to work and the anchors didn't remember so there was no warm and fuzzy wake up to breakfast in bed this morning. In fact we just returned home from the cottage, husband still at work (I miss him) and so I am waiting for the chinese food to arrive. girl-anchor complained that we are having chinese, she wants to know why I'm not making pot-roast because it is Sunday.
Oh well, hope everyone's mother's day is sweet. I am going to make the anchors watch a family movie with me later. As usual though we are only 3/4 of a family. I wish The Husband had a regular job, miss him and I know he probably misses us.
Thanks for reading
s

too late now

2006-05-10T21:11:00.000-04:00

Oh well, so marks came out today and my predictions were confirmed. Despite 10 A's and 3 B's (one being barely a B- in A/P) I didn't make the Dean's list. *insert heavy sigh here* I know I know I know, I have to let go of the marks thing and I promise I will but I still have a little bit of grief for my lost dream. I spent the morning playing the what if game - what if I hadn't watched an episode of Six Feet Under the night before the psych exam, what if I hadn't blown off the nutrition exam in first semester, what if I had realized the errors of my ways in my issues paper, what if I hadn't taken that God forsaken French class in first semester, what if what if what if. The answers all pretty much come out to be the same, I would have been on the Dean's list but I didn't and hind sight and all that baloney. Onto year 2 (but not until I have a fabulous summer at the cottage), the dreaded year of patho and statistics in the same year. Sadists!!! I am actually going to have to do *gulp* math, hopefully I'll grow a few more fingers and toes to help me out with the really hard questions before then. Who said nursing school would be easy? as my mother says, if it were easy everyone would be doing it.
So the sociology courses are humming along. I need a break, I know that I will be glad that I took these next year when all my peers are studying for 6 exams and I am only studying for 4 but I really wished that there was a bit more than a 2 day break between the end of nursie exams and the start of the spring semester.
Thanks for reading

p.s. how do you all deal with disappointment? I am really interested in other methods, I thought that eating chocolate chip cookies would help me feel better but they didn't and in fact now I feel worse because not only am I not on the Dean's list but I have a fat ass

p.p.s. can someone tell me how the ding dang to list my favourite blogs on the side of my blog? I'm not that computer savvy so please use very small words so I can understand, remember I'm not bright, I didn't make the DEAN'S LIST!!!

Nurse shortage

2006-05-09T14:03:00.000-04:00

Okay, so here is my political side coming out but you will have to excuse the lack of knowledge as well. There has been so much in the news about the nursing shortages, that by the year 2008 so many will be retiring, that recruitment is down etc. What is being done about it? I read today that some hospitals have implemented programs that will retain nurses that are approaching retirement longer, and newcomers will have a 3 month mentorship program to ease them into the profession. But what about just plain old cash, why isn't that ever something that is thrown around? They increased physician's salaries, why not nurses? How about if I graduate from school the government gives me a big huge tax rebate to help pay for my tuition? My husband tried to write off my tuition this year and it was a joke, he ended up with pittance added to his income taxes. What about books? Why doesn't the government remove all sales taxes on medical books? If they want to recruit more people then make it easier, not academically easier, but financially. It burns my butt that the interior design student or the fashion design student applying for student loans and burseries are put into the same pool as a nursing student. I mean really, sure their desire to become a fashion designer is just as great as mine, but hello, there are no shortages of fashion designers, and I can live without a person holding a degree in Interior Decorating, but can I live without a nurse if I am in the hospital?
Oh and by the way I live in Canada so if anything sounds odd. How does the government reward nurses where you are from?
Thanks for reading,
s

P.s. I must apologize if I offend any interior design or fashion design students, it was not my intention to offend anyone or demean their contributions to society. I worked for 15 years in the art industry and know the importance of pretty things and the challenge to produce them. I am merely making an observation...nevermind or I will have to apologize again ; )

I need a break today

2006-05-04T23:35:00.000-04:00

Okay so the exams are over, the marks are coming in, they are good, got an 87% on my physical assessment exam which I am over the moon about and a couple of other great results but am so bummed by the B's that are keeping me off the Dean's list, the reason that it really irritates me is because they are in classes that are so unrelated to nursing, they are all the other classes that they make us take to create "well-rounded" nurses. Frankly I don't think that a patient is going to care one way or another if I can name that tune in 3 notes when I am inserting a Foley, so why oh why did I have to take French in first semester??? enough of that.
So exams are over but I decided to take 2 other fluff courses in the spring semester so I can have the open space in my schedule next year. I am taking 2 sociology courses, bird courses actually. Today we watched Good Will Hunting in one of the classes and talked about sitcoms, a far cry from the endocrine system and range of motion.
Tonight was one of those evenings when I needed 3 of me. Girl Anchor had her spring concert and Boy Anchor had a lacrosse game, husband went to the lacrosse game but had to go to work midway thru and so Boy Anchor had to come home with a friend. He got a goal, and I missed it, it seems I miss a lot of stuff lately, is it that I'm not watching or is it that I am just too busy? After everything we came home, had showers and at 8:25 Boy Anchor announces that he has a project that is due oh tomorrow and he needs a piece of bristol board!!! Is he insane? as if I am going to the stationary store at that hour to get a piece of bristol board. Good thing I never throw anything out, I used this piece of stiff Kraft paper, the stuff that comes with expensive wrapping paper. So there I was cutting out pictures of hydroelectric power plants at 10:14 while watching ER (supplemental learning). The project is completed and I am expecting at least an A-, he brought home my A for my project on the U-2 spy plane today. I am still stinging from the B in my brouchure about Uranus. That was a kickass assignment for a grade 6 kid and I feel really ripped off, do you suppose the Mr. K suspects that Boy Anchor didn't do it himself??? maybe I should hold back on the computer formatting.
Wendy s.n. made a much appreciated comment about the grades, thank you. I love your comment that C is for continue. If I cite you properly, can I use that? What is a pass for other schools? we have to have a 63 to pass our nursing courses, other courses just need to be 50.
Well, take care, thanks for reading.
s

first things first

2006-05-03T22:03:00.000-04:00

Okay, first things, first. My name isn't Betty, its the name I gave my cute little iBook. I have just finished my first year of nursing school thus the (cand). A friend and I always used to chuckle when we saw profs at our school who were working on their PhD's that they signed everything So and So PhD (cand) so we adopted BScN (cand) because we are all candidates for something, right?!
First year was a roller coaster ride of emotions, I have 2 cute kids, very cute husband who works 70-90 hours/week, messy house and a half dead 15 year old dog. To say that school was a challenge given everything else that I had on the go is an understatement. It was never the school work that was the challenge it was everything else. I started this blog for the same reasons that it seems everyone else does, to vent about all the challenges of nursing student life and perhaps to make some connections with like minded individuals. Given that I am a (very) mature student I often don't have a lot in common with my classmates and was pleased to see so many other (mature) student nurse blogs.
I am hoping that this blog will become another type of communication journal that we are required to keep, of course I will maintain a written jobbie but this will be a more fun outlet.
My problem as a student also is that I set unreasonable goals for myself and am crushed when they don't pan out. I am currently waiting for the last 2 of my final exam marks. While what I have gotten back so far are good, they aren't good enough and my goal of hitting the dean's list is not going to happen and I am devastated. Oh well, such as life, I passed right and that's what's important blah blah blah. I'll get back to you on whether or not I convinced myself.
Thanks for reading ; )